Mr and Mrs Therapy | EMDR Therapy, Trauma, PTSD, Healing Trauma, Communication, Anxiety, Depression, Relationship

Ep 257 - When Life Gets Busy: Protecting Intimacy in Marriage

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Welcome to the Mr. and Mrs. Therapy podcast, hosted by licensed marriage and family therapists, Tim and Ruth Olson. This week, we tackle an issue that quietly threatens marriages across busy households: the erosion of intimacy amidst a flurry of obligations. Dive into an in-depth discussion on how life's busy seasons, filled with kids' activities, work, and errands, can create emotional disconnection, build resentment, and dampen physical intimacy.
In this insightful episode, we explore the subtle ways busyness creeps into marital unity, often unnoticed, leading couples to become no more than ships passing in the night. We discuss the pitfalls of transactional conversations and the dangers of neglecting emotional check-ins, showing how these patterns can sap the vibrancy out of intimate relationships.
With practical advice and real-world examples, Tim and Ruth guide listeners in recognizing signs of emotional detachment, such as prioritizing urgent tasks over important relational connections. They offer valuable insights on shifting dynamics, like managing the mental load and addressing resentment that arises from an uneven distribution of responsibilities.
Listeners will also learn the impact of declining physical closeness and gain strategies to maintain simple yet essential gestures of affection amidst chaos. Tune in to discover how busy couples can avoid the trap of becoming mere roommates and instead nurture enduring love.
Stay tuned for our next episode where we will discuss actionable steps to reignite intimacy, ensuring that busy seasons enrich rather than detract from your relationship. Don't forget to share your thoughts and join our community via the Facebook group linked below the episode!
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 256 - Healing Religious Trauma: EMDR's Power to Reclaim Faith

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where licensed therapists Tim and Ruth Olson guide you through the complexities of healing from trauma and fostering healthy relationships. In this episode, the focus is on reclaiming faith through the powerful trauma therapy known as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Building upon their previous discussion on religious trauma, the Olsons delve deeper into how EMDR can facilitate healing by separating negative religious experiences from one’s relationship with God.
Understand how EMDR works by helping the brain to reprocess and release painful memories and beliefs such as feeling unlovable unless perfect, or fearing divine punishment for not following every rule. The discussion touches on how childhood experiences or sermons engrained negative beliefs that affect one's interactions not only with God but also with other people. As these beliefs are addressed and reprocessed, they lose their grip, leading to more positive interactions and a healthier spiritual life.
Drawing from real-life examples and client experiences, Tim and Ruth explain how EMDR is not about altering faith but about removing emotional barriers that hinder spiritual growth. Discover the transformative moments when clients report feeling God’s presence during EMDR sessions, experiencing newfound connections and insights related to their spiritual journeys.
The episode also addresses common concerns from Christian individuals regarding EMDR, clarifying misconceptions and explaining its compatibility with Christian beliefs. Whether you're dealing with religious trauma or general trauma, learn how EMDR could help in restoring peace, embracing grace, and distinguishing between fallible human actions and divine love.
Join the Olsons as they explore key mental shifts facilitated by EMDR, such as redefining God’s character from a punisher to a protector, and replacing the need for perfection with an understanding of divine grace. Episode highlights include practical exercises, like reframing, which can aid healing, alongside the assurance that EMDR therapy can be a holy work towards renewing one’s spiritual life.
So, if feelings of fear and anxiety dominate your faith journey, this episode provides informational insights into how EMDR can help you dismantle those barriers. Stay tuned to learn about the options available for starting your own EMDR therapy journey.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}
 

Ep 255 - Healing From Religious Trauma: Insights and Strategies

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Welcome to the latest episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, delve into the sensitive and often overlooked topic of religious trauma. In this enlightening discussion, the Olsons, who are licensed marriage and family therapists with expertise in trauma and mental health, share their professional insights and personal experiences related to the impact of religious environments that harm rather than heal.
The episode begins by defining religious trauma and identifying sources such as fear-based teachings, legalism, and experiences of abuse or manipulation within the church. Tim and Ruth emphasize the importance of differentiating between flawed human behavior and the essence of divine teachings, encouraging listeners not to judge God by the actions of individuals within the church community.
As the conversation progresses, they explore how unresolved religious trauma can manifest in feelings of chronic guilt, anxiety, and difficulty trusting spiritual leaders. The hosts offer practical strategies for reframing negative beliefs and perceptions about God and the church, helping individuals bridge the gap between intellectual understanding and emotional experience through methods like EMDR therapy.
Tim and Ruth candidly share personal anecdotes of both positive and negative experiences within the church, highlighting that while human imperfection can lead to hurt and trauma, there is also potential for profound healing and growth. They stress the importance of anchoring one's faith in personal experience rather than the flawed actions of others, and they remind listeners of the importance of seeking professional help as needed.
Tune in to learn valuable strategies for turning pain into an opportunity for deeper connection and healing, and join them for the next episode where they will further explore EMDR therapy's role in recovering from religious trauma. Remember, as the Olsons say, your mind is a powerful thing, and with guidance, hope, and help are within reach.
 
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 254 - Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Steps to a Healthier You

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Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, the podcast that empowers you to transform life’s challenges into opportunities for personal growth and developing healthier relationships. Join your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists with expertise in trauma and mental health disorders, as they guide you through healing from past traumas and building meaningful connections.
In this engaging episode, we continue our mini-series by addressing the topic of people-pleasing and providing practical steps to break free from it. Distinguishing between the joy of genuinely pleasing others and the compulsion of people-pleasing, the Olsons delve into the detrimental impact excessive people-pleasing can have on mental health and personal identity.
Explore four essential steps to overcome the habit of people-pleasing: Recognize your patterns, set healthy boundaries, manage guilt and fear of disapproval, and practice saying no without over-explaining. Through these actionable strategies, you’ll learn how to prioritize your own needs, honor your boundaries, and foster authentic relationships.
Alongside insightful discussions, the Olsons invite you to reflect on your personal tendencies, encouraging a journey towards self-awareness and emotional independence. Discover how setting boundaries not only strengthens your self-respect but also nurtures more genuine and fulfilling connections. Whether it’s facing the fear of disappointing others or learning to assert your needs, this episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to shift from people-pleasing to empowerment.
Tune in today to start your journey towards freedom, happiness, and healthier relationships.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 253 - Escaping the People-Pleasing Trap: 7 Reasons to Find Your True Self

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Welcome to another enlightening episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson. In this episode titled 'Breaking Free from People-Pleasing', we delve into the intricate world of people-pleasing behaviors and discuss the importance of identifying the thin line between genuine kindness and the compulsion to please others.
Drawing from personal experiences and expert insights, Tim and Ruth offer a comprehensive look into what defines people-pleasing and how it differs fundamentally from genuinely wanting to help others. Ruth shares her personal journey from people-pleaser to finding joy in setting healthy boundaries, exemplifying how motivations can shift from fear and obligation to joy and service.
The Olsons explore seven compelling reasons to overcome people-pleasing, such as avoiding emotional burnout, fostering authentic relationships, boosting self-worth, and resisting emotional manipulation. They highlight the profound impact of setting boundaries and prioritizing personal growth, urging listeners to seek internal validation over external praise.
This episode is a call to action for anyone struggling with the burden of people-pleasing. It promises to guide you towards emotional freedom and stronger self-awareness. Stay tuned for practical steps to break free in the next exciting episode. Tune in, listen with intent, and start your journey to a healthier, more fulfilled life with Mr. and Mrs. Therapy.
 
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 253 - Building Shared Meaning in Relationships: Practical Steps

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In this episode of "Mr. and Mrs. Therapy," hosted by licensed marriage and family therapists Tim and Ruth Olson, listeners are taken on an insightful journey into John Gottman's seventh principle for building healthy relationships: Creating Shared Meaning. As experienced trauma experts, the Olsons provide practical strategies and exercises to help couples develop a deeper, more meaningful connection with each other.
The episode delves into several key strategies, including identifying shared and individual values, creating and nurturing rituals, and understanding dreams within conflicts. The Olsons emphasize the importance of adapting and evolving rituals over time to match the couple's evolving relationship and life circumstances. They also highlight the significance of shared symbols and narratives, such as inside jokes and household decor, that can serve as tangible reminders of the couple's bond.
Listeners will discover how taking collaborative action towards shared goals can foster a sense of closeness and purpose. By setting and revisiting yearly or quarterly goals, couples can ensure a aligned path, adapting plans as needed to accommodate individual aspirations and life changes.
Throughout the episode, Tim and Ruth encourage listeners to not only build a functional partnership but also find deep purpose and value in their relationships. They conclude with a recap of all seven principles of Gottman's relationship-building framework, urging couples to embrace one principle at a time for a lasting, loving connection.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 252 - Unveiling the Secrets of Shared Meaning in Relationships

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast, hosted by Tim and Ruth Olson, esteemed marriage and family therapists with a passion for healing and transformation. In this episode, they delve into the intriguing topic of creating shared meaning in relationships, inspired by John Gottman's seventh principle for lasting love.
Join Tim and Ruth as they explore how building a shared meaning can create a stronger emotional bond between partners. They explain the importance of weaving a tapestry of rituals, values, and life goals that unify couples, going beyond everyday tasks to shape a relationship's deeper identity. From special rituals like celebrating holidays to shared life missions, they discuss how these traditions foster resilience and connection over time.
Throughout the episode, Tim and Ruth candidly share how shared meaning can evolve with life events and challenges, enhancing relationship satisfaction. They delve into common barriers, such as lack of time, fear of losing individuality, mismatched values, and past traumas, providing valuable strategies to overcome these obstacles.
Listeners will gain insights into the profound impact of shared meaning on emotional investment and relationship cohesion. Tim and Ruth provide compelling examples from their personal lives and clinical experiences, highlighting the transformative power of recognizing and honoring each other's individuality within the context of a partnership.
Tune in to part one of this two-part exploration and discover the keys to fostering a meaningful and resilient connection. This episode promises engaging conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies to help you and your partner align on shared visions and enrich your unique relationship journey. Stay tuned for part two, where Tim and Ruth will guide you through actionable steps for creating shared traditions and aligning on broader life goals.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}
 
 

Ep 251 - Unlocking Relationship Gridlocks: Gottman's Principles Unraveled

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Join Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts, as they delve deeper into Gottman's seven principles, specifically focusing on overcoming gridlock in relationships. Building on the previous episode's exploration of solvable versus perpetual problems, this discussion provides listeners with practical steps to break free from entrenched conflicts and nurture deeper empathy and understanding.
Tim and Ruth guide you through the process of identifying hidden dreams within conflicts, illustrating how these core values can often be the root of recurring issues. Through the example of a couple grappling with the decision of having a larger family, they highlight the importance of recognizing personal motivations and values. By exploring each other's dreams and fears, couples can transform arguments into opportunities for connection, allowing for meaningful discussions rather than reactive exchanges.
The episode offers strategies for self-soothing and emotional regulation, emphasizing the importance of taking pauses during heated discussions to foster calmer and more constructive dialogues. Tim and Ruth illustrate the significance of validating each other's emotions and encourage listeners to engage in ongoing dialogues rather than seeking one-time solutions.
Listeners are invited to explore temporary compromises and structured conversations to navigate perpetual issues adeptly. The Olsons stress the value of professional help in facilitating these discussions, underscoring that the journey to overcoming relationship gridlocks is about understanding each other's inner world, not just fixing issues superficially.
As the episode concludes, Tim and Ruth provide a preview of the next episode focusing on creating shared meaning, promising more valuable insights. Tune in to transform relationship gridlocks into pathways of growth and deeper connection, and be sure to share your thoughts and experiences in the Facebook group linked in the description.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}
 

Ep 250 - Breaking Free from Relationship Gridlock: Insights from Mr. and Mrs. Therapy

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Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists, delve into the intricacies of overcoming relationship gridlock. In this episode, they focus on the sixth of Gottman's Seven Principles, exploring the concept of gridlock in relationships where fundamental conflicts recur without resolution over months or even years.
The episode begins with a discussion on how unresolved perpetual problems—such as disagreements about wanting children, religious differences, or lifestyle choices—can leave couples feeling entrenched and hopeless. Tim and Ruth engage listeners by sharing insights into the emotional complexities beneath these ongoing conflicts, emphasizing the need for deeper understanding and the importance of addressing not just the surface issues but the underlying dreams, needs, and values.
The hosts guide couples through various pitfalls like ignoring emotions, rushing for quick solutions, and failing to revisit difficult topics leading to blame and resentment. They stress the significance of emotional intimacy alongside conflict resolution and offer practical advice on utilizing check-ins, patience, and empathy to manage differences more peacefully.
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships, identifying recurring issues and the emotions tied to them. With the promise of more strategies in the next episode, this installment empowers couples to break free from gridlock, fostering meaningful and fulfilling connections.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 249 - The Roadmap to Solving Solvable Problems in Relationships

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Welcome back to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts. In this episode, we dive deep into the art of solving solvable problems within relationships by exploring John Gottman’s principles. Picking up from our previous discussion on distinguishing solvable issues from perpetual ones, we guide you through a comprehensive roadmap designed to effectively address and resolve conflict.
The episode begins by emphasizing the importance of a gentle startup when entering difficult conversations, to reduce defensiveness and promote an atmosphere conducive to cooperation. We walk you through seven structured steps, starting from articulating the issue clearly, practicing active listening, to brainstorming and proposing collaborative solutions. Additionally, crucial topics such as finding common ground, compromising, and agreeing on a plan are tackled to help both partners feel respected and understood.
Drawing from real-life scenarios and professional insights, we also discuss overcoming common pitfalls like reverting to old communication patterns, addressing emotional triggers, and dealing with external stressors. This empowers listeners to manage conflicts with empathy and teamwork.
Whether dealing with challenging daily disputes or navigating deeper emotional wounds, this episode provides practical strategies for strengthening your relationship's bond. Tune in for valuable tips and a step-by-step guide to transforming conflict into a catalyst for personal and relational growth.
We encourage you to practice these techniques on a small conflict this week, and share your success stories in our dedicated Facebook group. Join us as we continue to transform life's challenges into opportunities for deeper connections and healing.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}