Mr and Mrs Therapy | EMDR Therapy, Trauma, PTSD, Healing Trauma, Communication, Anxiety, Depression, Relationship

Ep 286 - Transforming Anxiety into Excitement: Understanding and Managing Your Physiological Responses

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In this episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy podcast, the hosts delve into the phenomenon of experiencing a racing, jittery feeling and interpreting it as either excitement or anxiety. They discuss the physiological responses driven by the sympathetic nervous system and provide a self-check tool to help listeners distinguish between excitement and fear. The episode covers the role of perspective and inputs in shaping these feelings and offers techniques to reframe negative thoughts, including the concept of neuroplastic shift. The hosts conclude with a five-question self-check tool to help listeners rework their anxiety into excitement.
00:00 Introduction to the Podcast
00:07 Understanding the Racing Jittery Feeling
00:50 The Science Behind the Physiological Surge
01:36 Interpreting Excitement vs. Anxiety
03:19 The Role of Perspective and Inputs
05:11 Side-by-Side Comparison: Excitement vs. Anxiety
07:33 Reframing Anxiety into Excitement
10:17 Five Question Self-Check Tool
12:04 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 285 - Navigating Conflict Styles in Relationships

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In this episode of the Mr. and Mrs. Therapy podcast, hosts Brian and Ruth discuss conflict styles in relationships and how they can either drive couples apart or bring them closer together. They explore the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which identifies five primary conflict styles: avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromising, and collaborating. Each style is examined in detail, including its root causes, physiological responses, strengths, and pitfalls. The hosts emphasize the importance of understanding one's own conflict style and that of their partner to improve communication and resolve conflicts effectively. Practical tools and strategies are shared to help listeners shift towards healthier conflict resolution patterns, ultimately fostering deeper connections in their relationships.
00:00 Introduction to Conflict Styles
00:26 Understanding the Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument
02:53 Avoiding Conflict: Pros and Cons
07:04 Accommodating Conflict: Balancing Cooperation and Assertiveness
09:56 Competing Conflict: The Win-Lose Approach
13:09 Compromising Conflict: Finding Middle Ground
16:10 Collaborating Conflict: Achieving Win-Win Solutions
19:23 Identifying Your Conflict Style
20:29 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 284 - Harnessing the Power of the Pygmalion Effect: Elevate Expectations, Elevate Performance

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In this episode of the Mr. And Mrs. Therapy podcast, the hosts explore the Pygmalion Effect—an intriguing phenomenon where higher expectations can enhance performance and growth. They discuss its origins, mechanics, and applicability in various contexts such as education, parenting, marriage, and self-improvement. Personal anecdotes and actionable strategies are shared to help listeners leverage this principle effectively in their own lives. Key emphasis is placed on balancing high expectations with grace and realistic perspectives to foster positive outcomes and self-fulfilling prophecies.
00:00 Introduction to the Pygmalion Effect
00:32 Origins and Mechanics of the Pygmalion Effect
01:25 Personal Story: Rising to Expectations
02:34 Parental Perspectives on Expectations
05:30 Balancing High Expectations with Grace
06:07 Applications in Daily Life
18:11 Strategies to Leverage the Pygmalion Effect
21:45 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 283 - Navigating Negativity: Why Bad Feels Bigger

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In this episode of the Mr. And Mrs Therapy podcast, the hosts explore the concept of negativity bias, which is the tendency to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. They discuss the evolutionary roots of this bias, its impact on our emotional well-being, and how it manifests in self-talk, relationships, and stress. The hosts then provide five practical tools to help shift towards a more balanced perspective: maintaining a three-to-one positivity ratio, implementing a bad day buffer ritual, practicing gratitude, asking reframing questions, and creating a positive data bank. These strategies aim to retrain the brain and improve overall mental health.
00:00 Introduction to Negativity Bias
01:02 The Science Behind Negativity Bias
02:22 Negativity Bias in Daily Life
04:53 Impact on Relationships
11:49 Tools to Combat Negativity Bias
17:12 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 282 - Transforming Parenting: The Power of Empathy, Expectations, and Empowerment

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In this episode of Mr. Services Therapy podcast, listeners are introduced to a simple yet effective parenting tool called the 'Three E's': empathize, expect, and empower. The hosts discuss how to transform daily power struggles with children into moments of connection by using empathy, setting clear expectations, and empowering children with choices. They provide detailed examples of how to implement each step in various scenarios, such as daily routines and homework time. Emphasizing empathy helps children feel seen, clear expectations eliminate confusion, and providing choices fosters autonomy and cooperation.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 281 - Raising Kids Who Obey with Joy

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In this episode, the we delve into the crucial topic of raising children who obey with a joyful heart, rather than begrudging compliance. They discuss the importance of attitude in fostering respect, self-control, and empathy in children. By addressing behaviors consistently and early, parents can minimize resentment and conflict, creating a harmonious home environment. The episode highlights the mantra 'right away, all the way, with a joyful heart,' and offers practical advice on encouraging compliance without arguments, completing tasks fully, and responding positively. The discussion also emphasizes the role of parents in modeling calm behavior and the significance of emotional contagion.
 
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 180 - Navigating Emotional Flooding: Regain Control and Heal

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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Today, Tim and Ruth Olson, experienced marriage and family therapists specializing in trauma, explore the concept of emotional flooding - a state of overwhelming emotion where the logical brain takes a backseat. This episode is designed to help listeners recognize, understand, and manage the intense emotional responses often referred to as the 'amygdala hijack.'
The Olsons dive deep into the science behind emotional flooding, explaining how past trauma can trigger the body's survival mode, characterized by the fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn response. They discuss how the brain, despite knowing situations logically, often misinterprets non-threatening scenarios as danger due to past experiences.
Listeners will learn practical strategies for calming the nervous system, such as grounding techniques, deep breathing, and using the 5-4-3-2-1 method to bring oneself back to the present. The Olsons also cover the importance of stepping away and managing emotional states before attempting to resolve conflicts.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your own emotions or noticed how they impact your relationships, this episode is filled with valuable insights on transforming emotional flooding into an opportunity for growth and understanding. Join the journey to heal from the past, foster better communication, and develop deeper, more fulfilling relationships.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 179 - Unveiling the Myths of Divorce: What You Really Need to Heal

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In this eye-opening episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, licensed marriage and family therapists Tim and Ruth Olson delve into the often misunderstood topic of divorce. With years of experience in trauma and mental health, the Olsons provide a compassionate and insightful perspective on why divorce might not be the solution many believe it to be.
The episode begins with an important caveat: while the discussion centers on the complexities of divorce, it acknowledges that in cases of abuse or unsafe relationships, separation is crucial. However, for many experiencing conflict, disconnection, or betrayal, divorce may offer a false sense of resolution.
Listeners will gain insights into the unspoken challenges that come with divorce, such as emotional hangovers, continued conflicts, especially in co-parenting, and how unresolved personal wounds can carry into future relationships. The Olsons bring to light the hidden costs of divorce, touching upon its financial and emotional toll, and how societal and familial pressures can impact both individuals and children.
Throughout the episode, Tim and Ruth stress the importance of personal growth and healing from past traumas as a means to improve current and future relationships. They discuss practical strategies like individual and couples therapy, learning to articulate personal needs, rebuilding trust, and the role of spirituality in enhancing relational bonds.
The episode wraps up with a message of hope, encouraging listeners to seek clarity and understanding before making life-altering decisions. Whether you are currently in a challenging marriage, contemplating divorce, or healing post-divorce, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice to foster healthier relationships and personal well-being.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 287 - The Myth of Mind Reading: Unlocking Healthy Communication

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In this episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, both licensed marriage and family therapists, delve into the pervasive relationship challenge of expectation without communication. Many partners, families, and friends expect their loved ones to understand what they need without expressing it, leading to frustration and resentment. This episode focuses on debunking the myth of mind reading and explores practical strategies for openly expressing one's needs in relationships.
Tim and Ruth discuss how expecting someone to intuitively know your needs can harm relationships, perpetuate misunderstandings, and breed emotional distance. They emphasize the importance of healthy communication, kindness, and clarity when expressing needs. Listeners will gain insight into the significance of speaking up and the potential consequences of staying silent.
Through real-life examples and expert advice, the episode provides essential tools to help listeners identify their needs, use "I" statements, and choose the right timing for conversations. By offering sentence starters and highlighting the importance of staying open to dialogue, the Olsons aim to guide individuals towards creating meaningful connections with their loved ones. Listen as they unpack practical tips on how partnering and teamwork can aid in building enduring love and fulfilling relationships.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

Ep 277 - Embracing 'Boring' Healing: The Subtle Art of Progress

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Welcome back to another episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson. As licensed marriage and family therapists, we're here to empower you to transform life's challenges into opportunities for personal growth and healthier relationships. In this episode, we dive into the understated reality of healing - how it can often feel boring, predictable, or anticlimactic.
We challenge the cultural obsession with dramatic transformation stories and emphasize that real, lasting healing is a gradual, consistent process. It's not always about groundbreaking breakthroughs; sometimes, it's about choosing rest or saying no without guilt, actions that are powerful in their simplicity. We discuss the importance of these small, everyday victories.
Throughout the episode, we reframe what healing truly looks like, underscoring the power of mundane milestones like pausing before reacting, naming emotions, and setting silent boundaries. These acts are signs of profound progress and stabilization of your brain and nervous system.
Join us as we share practical tools to track and celebrate these 'boring' wins, from micro-win trackers to using visual reminders and anchor statements. We also address the importance of reframing expectations, acknowledging that healing is not linear and setbacks are part of the journey.
So whether you're stepping back from chaos or learning to value rest, remember that your journey towards a stable, grounded self is not boring—it's beautiful. Tune in to understand why these quiet triumphs are indeed the evidence of your healing power.
[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]
{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}